Is It Too Late to Get Your Ex Back?

By Jenna James

Ex seeing another partner

When you've broken up, it seems too late to get back together, but the truth will surprise you

The biggest question people ask me is whether it is too late to get your ex back. Is there some sort of time limit before things can be deemed truly over? The truth is there doesn't have to be.

Be assured time won't play a critical role if you think "emotion" as opposed to "logistics". You can even get together again when your ex is living somewhere else or in a rebound relationship.

In other words, you're going to have to appeal to your ex's emotions rather than offering solid reasons as to why the two of you should get back together. What does this have to do with time? Emotional memories possess a lot of strength. The amount of people who seek therapy for childhood traumas is a telltale example of this. There is serious power in emotional memories so if you can pull on your ex's emotional memory strings, you stand an excellent chance of recovering the relationship that may now seem lost to you.

Emotions stay with us far longer than the details of a given situation. Think about how it's so much harder to recall what a fight was about whereas it's so easy to remember how happy you two were on that vacation to Paris. In fact, it's probably even hard to remember the specific details of your trip. Did you go to the café in the center of town or the bistro on the corner? Was it your idea to go the museum or your ex's idea? Ultimately, these things don't even matter. What matters is that you had an amazing experience together.

Think about it. Can you remember every toy that you got as a kid on Christmas morning? No, what we remember is what Christmas morning felt like as a kid - the excitement, the magic, and the anticipation.

This is why in your mission to get your ex back, rehashing the details of the breakup and dwelling on all of the reasons you should get back together just won't work. You need to work on conjuring up the emotions that your ex felt when you were together. That also means you want to stay away from provoking the emotions that ultimately led to the break-up in the first place.

...think 'emotion' as opposed to 'logistics'.

Don't tell your ex that your ex that you both love watching "The Sound of Music" on rainy days. Instead hum that song when you're in the same room or bring up the movie while your talking to your friend and your ex is in earshot.

Don't tell your ex that you should get back together because you're both college basketball fans. Reference the game that you watched the other night, and maybe even mention who you watched it with. The nostalgia of your ex doing that thing with you will stir old emotions - a thing that listing general facts can't do. And it will strike an even deeper chord when you mention you did this thing with someone else.

If you pay attention to using emotional cues rather than logical reasoning, the element of time won't matter as much. Unless your ex has made significant changes in his or her life and the opportunity of reunion involves significant other obstacles (a marriage, a long-distance move etc.), emotional tactics is a solid way to woo your ex back.

So it is really never too late to get your ex back. Just remember to appeal to your ex's emotions and don't bother with the details. If you happen to have some of those bigger obstacles in your way like the presence of a spouse or an across-the-country relocation, there are ways to get around these things which I go into depth about in my book. It's never hopeless if you know the right moves to make.

If you're a woman, learn how to get him back and if you're a guy learn how to get her back. Those links are to my courses and contain tips to get your ex back.

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